Each week a number of anxious singles turn to the Tarot with questions about marriage. Queries range from “When will I get married?” to “Is it an arranged or a love marriage?” and to a topic which has been more popular recently.
“I have found my future spouse. How do I get my parents to consent?” Many tears have been shed over this query as young men and women deal with an orthodox parent or parents who have other plans in mind for their child.
And when it comes to the replies, the cards answers have ranged from “domineering” “stubborn” “unwilling to compromise” and simply superstitious. One girl’s parents refused to accept her boyfriend as a future son in law because some soothsayer warned them of dire consequences if they were to marry. Another young man nearly lost his mind while the woman he loved was locked up at home, prevented from calling him and was forced to marry someone of a higher status or income group than his. Others include girls whose fathers refuse to even meet the boy in question and as a result have stopped speaking to their own children. And a mother who completely disapproved of her son dating a divorcee and wanted the Tarot to tell her what other people would say to the match? All this in the 21st century.
Fact of the matter is, traditions have changed. Today’s young person has more education, more exposure and more freedom. Love is bound to happen as society becomes a little more open, as young men and women meet one another more freely in the work front and the social front. Love doesn’t see caste, creed or income group. It happens. Compatibility is something that needs constant work and if 2 people click and strongly believe they can make a marriage happen, then why stop them?
Research has revealed divorces and differences can take place in equal number in both arranged and love marriages. And same is the case with successful marriages. Personal biases and societal opinions are lessening as Indians discover times have truly changed. A few decades ago, love marriages were greeted with raised eyebrows, and now in the cities, it’s common to be invited to someone’s marriage, and then a few years later to their second marriage. Parents are slowly discovering that by educating their daughter and allowing her to venture out into the work force, they are giving her the freedom to make her own choices in a free India.
Marriage is karmic, and love to has its connections way back when. Relationships do require work and effort and I believe it’s possible for 2 people who are truly committed to one another to make things work regardless of differences in education, upbringing and incomes
As a request to all parents, before you say no to your son or daughter’s choice, listen to their heart. If their heart sings and their eyes light up, then it is love. Allow your little one to make a grown up decision and support them throughout their highs and lows of marriage. Marriage isn’t easy, but it’s a whole lot smoother when you know you have a mom or a dad supporting you.
Mita Bhan
Psychic Tarot Reader & Holistic Practitioner
